Kevin Griffith – from My Book of Poetry

Kevin Griffith

from My Book of Poetry

In my detective novel, yes, the detective has a quirky handicap—he is a
ventriloquist’s dummy. For the first 200 pages he lies on the bottom of his
carrying case, waiting for the murderer to pick him up and confess his crimes
without moving his lips.

A lonely man walks along a dark street. Suddenly, there stands before him an
angel who says, “Pick up a stone, close your eyes, spin around three times, and
then throw the stone. It will land in front of the house of your future wife.” The
man does what he is told and throws the stone. It lands with a plop in the middle
of a large pond.

Ten possible titles for the previous story:

The Man Who Married a Pond

The Patron Saint of Losers

Hunting Down the Angel

Have You Considered the Priesthood?

The Merman’s Dilemma

Can You Help Me Get My Stone Back, Baby?

The Second Throw

Lameass Parable Blues

People Who Swim in Glass Ponds

Forgotten Nineteenth-Century Russian Microfiction

Consider all the things you have never done in your life and never will. For
instance, you have never been a member of an all-girl band. Now find peace.

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