Lauren Shufran – now i do i

Lauren Shufran

now i do                       i

   i                                remember you now i do                             in
a cowboy hat                            say                  i
                      know because i dreamt of you
                      last night i think i
i dream in english now    (three) times

     three      stones from
     the bottom drawer of a cluttered
     desk   (my
       desk is where my mind is)
     you mumble nottome in            portuguese and
     (in hand) which one looks
     most like                                               me eyes from
hand to eyes to silent something

he died day             after i returned
    a                           five week    trip in (almost your land)
when we got home i checked the
answering machine (don’t
worry love i am going
to be fine i just wanted to let you
know that) to
towantneversobadly  to     hit         erase

                                                   *  *  *  *  *

                gray stone with a                                  white band
                 around it (eyes hand to eyes you:
   :choose) do                  you know the english
  word for                                                                                                                                            halo
     pawing at your cat more he
     at you you
                                           don’t climb onto your roof
                                           the bathroom window
(leaks)       don’t
                                           want to leak with it down
                                           into the neighbors

       coffee from a coffee maker that
makes only
at a time days
                earlier at the university café i
bring a full cup(i        you) of ice (i            you) say
ionlywantedonecube  i                   know i say
                                                                                                                the rest is for me sit
smiling i
     do not know portuguese but enough
     spanish to help you                     sometimestranslate
     a book of poems

                                                                    *  *  *  *  *

violento    sometimesmeaning uncomfortable
in spanish (what about you from where you from you:     : (at)home:

:a question                                                    what is
                    a photograph (no technical              answers
please) green                            two
           figures and a golf club white hair a bonnet
the                                                                                                              art of
   (nothing self-taught)
a frame found on the living room
table of a house i rarely visit


to find out later it was
my grandmother that took the picture she’ll
be fine        they said                                           go and
when i came back a week later (three
                                                                  rocks in handeyeshands)

                                                                  *  *  *  *  *

to hurt  in portuguese in spanish
                                                                                                          now i do i know
       (do i?) (i?) (i?)
   know i remember you in (notinenglish) i
                       know because i dreamt of you (or
 woke                                                                            thinking of you)
on the floor of a one-bedroom apartment
      two cups of coffee and the
                                       cat pushing two (extra) stones
across the floor

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