Jim Behrle
Two Poems
I MOVE THE CLOCKS AHEAD EVERY WEEKEND for Katy Henriksen
Fake every punt / Taint misbehaving
I just duct-taped my asshole shut
you look so hot just screwing around
with your phone all the time
I am rubbing Wallace Stevens’ poems all over my body
I imagine you in footie pajamas putting
chapbooks together
I’ll be under my desk waiting for the sex to begin
It’s OK to do that thumb and pinky bottle
thing whenever I walk by
I’m not sure there is a Heaven
but there’s definitely a Hell
I’m skipping Movember and going right
to Pubecember
I just want to drink weird regional sodas
and fall in love with people on the internet.
Don’t judge me. Unless it’s like sexy judgmental
THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN
“It’s a Trap!”—Admiral Akbar
The Best Way to Currently Help
in New York
1. Get the Fuck Out of My Way
2. Shut the Fuck Up
“I shoulda known it was a one-horse town”
I need a first responder in my underpants
I’m just waiting for the volcano to erupt
I’m gonna displace some emotions your way
If this was a facebook post, would you “like” it?
I’d like to add you to my professional network
Come all Ye Horny
Leave an open beer on my grave
Hannah Weiner saw words, I just see tacos
Failed to come to assistance to pigeon in distress
Aquarius, you may have to learn how to choke people
out with your head phone cords today
I had such hopes for google plus
A source of unavoidable intensity
“Like you’ve never seen a dick before”
“And make Panther fans forget all about you?
And become your mom’s favorite player?”
Someone check scripture
Just another double shift at the douche factory
I want a channel that’s just
riots at Walmarts in HD
“Somebody gotta be the victim tonight”
Aquarius, it’s time to call a lawyer
by Jim Behrle
