Paul Siegell
*THE 18 MAJORS OF GREG
HOLLOWCOST* FRESHMAN YEAR> Oh
please, PRE-MED of course. C’mon. 2nd SEMESTER>
Uhh, Advertising? No, wait: P.R. Ah, I’ve got it: Computer
Science. SOPHOMORE YEAR> Okay, seriously now: Philosophy.
Well, English Lit. No. I’m ambitious: Creative Writing!
Yeah, ha, but that really means: Education. Hmmm,
Anthropology? Damn. I’ve gotta decide, but what
am I good at? 2nd SEMESTER, SOPHOMORE
YEAR> Y’know what: Pre-
Law. Well, Interpersonal
Communications. Nope,
Physical Education. A’ight,
let’s be honest: Religious
Studies. JUNIOR YEAR>
How ’bout: Psychology?
So, whaddayado when yer
supposed to have a Dream,
but don’t? Well, at least not
according to this Institution.
I’m thinking Broadcasting.
Or, Hospitality & Tourism.
Yeah! Take that, you cruel-
ruler rough-judge pressure
of success! 2nd SEMESTER,
JUNIOR YEAR> Uhhhh,
Business Marketing?
Maybe I’ll stickaround another
year; five ain’t that bad.
(What’s two more semesters
of Outta-State Student Loans?)
Dad, I know; I got it: I’m gonna
graduate with a degree in
ORGANIZATIONAL COM-
MUNICATIONS!