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Wayne Crawford – 23 Reasons Why it is Better to be C

Wayne Crawford


23 Reasons Why it is Better to be Circumsized

I am or an iamb is
a particle
that doesn’t know it’s
a wave, even when I point my flashlight
at the
Shadow of God, and on the evening of the
poetry reading, the temperature

drops from spring to winter,
giving those
with nice leather coats
an excuse to listen, but how should a boy,
13-years
old, answer when his mother says, “You have
beautiful, well-shaped thighs”?

The gang plays basketball
Saturday
mornings in Eddie’s
backyard.  I am fouled, they agree
I should shoot
a free throw.  I throw underhanded, miss,
and shout “crap”

because I am too proper and polite
to say “shit.”
Their laughter startles
Sisyphus from his routine.  And when
I come down
from my mountain where the wind howls
in my ear, I rock the boat,

fall overboard and learn: what goes on
in the ocean
turns up on land
and in the air and eventually enters
my bed-
room through my television, and lizards
I carry in the cuffs of my pants

with birds, snakes, fish, mosquitoes,
termites,
bees and enough
flakes of skin for a feast.  All fall to
the floor,
stick to my feet, travel room to room,
towels to socks to sheets,

rub off on anyone I kiss,
make love
to, shake hands with,
sneeze at, bump into, sit beside, hug,
breathe
the same air, share the same water or pew.
Spiders web my face while I sleep,

force me to razor shave my
morning.
At the flea market,
I glimpse a painting of Jesus wearing
a cowboy
hat, turns out to be Willie Nelson.  God
is great.  I know because
I watch the Wisdom Channel

and I have
learned that circum-
sized men are 23 times more likely
to receive
oral sex before dinner or after a shower
except in Utah and parts of Texas.

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